Will I wake?

Lost, is it me who is the ghost, or the world around me? Life glints like shards of glass with the pain of knowing. Everywhere I look, everything I touch, it's a reminder of that pain. The loss. There's no words. Swords sink deeper and deeper into my chest. Thoughts are no longer coherent, just babble inside my head. I'm shaking, shaking, steady me. I call out but you're not there. I scream, scream, tears streaking my face, but no one hears.

Suddenly, I am beside myself, calm, watching my own breakdown. Doing nothing to stop it. I stand and stare as my body doubles over in tears and pain and loss and sorrow. Sharp stabs of pain hit me like ice. And I'm falling. Over the side of the cliff. Did I jump? I don't remember. The rush of the wind kisses my tears away. I close my eyes and remember, ever time, those painful memories. No, this is my chance to let go. Push them away again. Releasing every disappointment, every heartache, I hit the water. The icy cold shocks my limbs, biting, nipping at my skin. I welcome the pain as I sink deeper and deeper into the oblivion. The light slowly fades from view beyond my fingertips. The rest of my breath escapes in a burst of bubbles, and I close my eyes. My body lays flat on the floor, I accepting my death.

And they pick me up from my puddle of blood. My hair is dripping red, my wrists bandaged hastily. The voices are trying to talk to me. The memory of every broken promise rushes back to me and I scream, not with pains of the flesh but pains of the mind. They don't understand, they push a needle into my arm, breaking the skin, and I slowly fade to an unconscious, dreamless black. Will I wake?