Stirring the Ashes.

How is it possible to be filled with joy and excitement, yet hurt and pain at the same time? I long, always long, for my love, though I know it will never be. So why can't I get over that, move on for just a while and forget while I am so ecstatic? I've no idea. I've pondered and pondered endlessly, searching for the answer, but I cannot find it. Such glee has pulsed through me, I want to hang on to that glee, no matter what. I know it will die though, and I will again be left with loneliness, pain, and longing. Am I to give up? I do believe so. I give up all hopes, and maybe, just maybe, I will be fine and well again. I just can't stir the ashes, as I have been.
Stirring the ashes always gets you burned.